HITR
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by HITR on Jul 30, 2003 9:39:16 GMT -5
Okay, seeing the athiest and the bear joke made me think that we need a place for great jokes and funny stories...so this is it! ;D Please post as many of your jokes, silly antics and humorous stories here for all of us to share!  If any of them are copied over from some reading source (e.g. Chicken Soup for the Soul is one I'll be using), please be sure to reference the material for credit to the author/publisher.  Blessings, HITR |
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HITR
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by HITR on Jul 30, 2003 9:42:19 GMT -5
A mushroom walks into a lounge after a long day, saunters up to the bar and orders a cold draft. The bartender takes one look at him, and stammers, "We don't serve mushrooms here! You're going to have to leave!" Looking very hurt and somewhat embarpkmtyolred, the mushroom looks at the bartender and asks, "Why not? I'm a fungi! |
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Post by ChatterBox on Jul 30, 2003 14:27:22 GMT -5
LOL!
How many people does it take to fill an empty room?
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Post by Monkey on Jul 30, 2003 16:19:26 GMT -5
LOL!
one, because after that it would not be emtey
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Post by effola on Jul 31, 2003 11:07:38 GMT -5
what is the latest invention of the mad scientist? water proof tea bags  |
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Post by effola on Jul 31, 2003 11:14:12 GMT -5
why does the foolish man always take a sharp knife with him in the car when he goes for a drive?
so he can cut the corners better!!
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Post by effola on Jul 31, 2003 11:19:06 GMT -5
why should you always have an empty bottle in teh fridge?
in case someone comes along who doesn't want a drink.
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Post by Monkey on Jul 31, 2003 16:58:26 GMT -5
LOL!
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Post by effola on Jul 31, 2003 22:55:21 GMT -5
waiter, what is this in my soup??
I have no idea, sir, all insects look the same to me!! ;D
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Post by effola on Jul 31, 2003 22:56:32 GMT -5
waiter, waiter, there's a button in my salad!
oh dear, that must have come off while hte lettuce was dressing!! ;D
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Post by effola on Jul 31, 2003 23:12:12 GMT -5
in the open british countryside, 2 cows are grazing side by side, silently. ONe cow turns to the other & says:
"I say old chap, do you have mad cows desease?"
"NO"says the other cow, " I don't."
"How'd'you know that?" the first cow asks
"Becasue I'm a penguin!!"
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HITR
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by HITR on Aug 1, 2003 10:48:12 GMT -5
;D
Thanks for all the great jokes...I'd love to see this thread get lot's of 'em...I have such a hard time trying to remember all the good one's I've heard!
Christ's love, hither
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Janet
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by Janet on Aug 7, 2003 17:51:37 GMT -5
;D You asked!
One day a Giant Panda walked into a restaurant and ordered the special of the day. After he was finished his meal, he shot the waiter and left.
The manager raced out after him, and said, "Hey, wait here a minute, you can't shoot my waiter and then..!!
The Panda interrupted, " Look Mister, I'm a Panda, look it up!"
So the manger went back in the restaurant, and looked up Panda in the encyclopedia.
"Has a white chubby body with black legs, round head and is known for the black patches around each eye. Native to China.
Eats shoots and leaves..."
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Janet
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by Janet on Aug 7, 2003 17:53:33 GMT -5
 This one chokes me up. An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarpkmtyolred, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that is prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
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Post by BlindFaith on Sept 1, 2003 22:05:25 GMT -5
This one chokes me up. An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarpkmtyolred, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that is prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." awww,im gonna send this one to my grammy! |
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[/glow] Smile, Jesus loves you. 
This one chokes me up.