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Post by Citizen on Sept 1, 2003 13:49:23 GMT -5
Ben, that WAS an excellent post ... thank you!
Lisa, my prayers are with you every day ... God bless you, sis!
In Christ's love, Lori
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Post by Panther on Sept 1, 2003 22:58:15 GMT -5
Thanks Lori! You are such a sweet and kind person! Ok, here is the most recent (forget where I left off, hee hee) My lease was up last month on my rental house. My ex and I had a LONG discussion of why we each think our marriage went bad and we got the divorce. I have to note, however, that he never wanted the divorce, it was my decision and he has been trying to win me back ever since. Oh- let me backtrack a second. My awesome friend Karen has TONS of legal background. She sat and typed up my whole dissolution paperwork, looks like it came from an attorney. She set up a process server for me. I still have not heard from Dan. Don't know where he lives, don't have a phone number. However, I knew he was planning on helping out at a huge home show at the Tampa convention center this past weekend. Well, the sheriff found him and served him there. It was noted that he was in complete shock to get served divorce papers. DUH! I thought that was weird, after all, what did he think was going to happen! Anyhow, since he was found and served, all I have to do is wait 20 days for a response. If there isn't any, then I will be divorced. If he does contest it, it will add a little bit of time, but there is no way for him to win anything over a month long marriage. I decided to move back in with my ex. He still has our previous home, I had left it to him in the divorce agreement. It's a really nice home in a great neighborhood. I was afraid to keep it at the time, knowing I couldn't afford the mortgage in case anything happened. Well, he put in new carpeting recently and it looks nice. The movers commented that I really made a step up. It was comical. I moved from a rented home/duplex into this 3500 square ft. q 2 story house. I didn't get back together with my ex for the house, obviously, but I have to be honest and say it is an awesome bonus, lol! Our daughter is thrilled to have come home. We have our own swimming pool and hot tub in the back and she used to swim every day when we lived here. She also has a lot of friends in the neighborhood. I aquired two kitties while on my own, so they came and joined the crowd too. We have two other dogs and two other cats. Lucikly, they all like it outside under the screened in pool area, so it's not a madhouse inside, hee hee! We take the dogs for a walk in the neighborhood every night and afterward, the dogs jump straight into the pool, swim a few laps and shake off. Its really funny. I have to say that i feel it is God's will for me and my ex to reconcile. We both feel at such peace, our love is so strong for each other. I am so happy to be home with him, it feels like I never left. We have ironed out our issues and I think we will be just fine! One issue was we used to have a lot of friends over for cook outs and such. It got to the point where we had too many people interfering in our lives. Wayne and I were doing too many seperate activites. It was after our divorce that we became christians together. We were still doing a lot of activities together. We decided to start going to church one weekend and both accepted Jesus into our hearts at the first service. I had started going out with Dan, don't know why. He just really charmed me and like I said previously, it was so much easier to start out a new love interest than work on problems with my ex. I still had issues with Wayne at the time. I got swept away with Dan while in a vulnerable state. of mind. Dan knew Wayne also. That's why Wayne was so upset when he found out about Dan. Wayne had been telling Dan all along how much he still loved me and wanted his family back. I was not aware of this. We are going to get married as soon as the other paperwork is through. We are going to go to church together every Sunday. It is nice to be with someone who is yoked with me. As far as this whole situation, good DID come out of it. Wayne and I feel like newlyweds, even though it has been 17 years of total time together. SO, we have been moving me and Chelsea's things home all weekend. Have been so sore and so tired. We did hire movers, but before they were finished, they had to leave for another job. Oh, by the way. This was TOOO weird. While unpacking the attic at my old house to move things, I found a bunch of stuff Dan packed up there. There was a nice huge pile of porno mags. The tiles read "barely legal." I was shocked, he told me he never read magazines or watched porno. But like I said, he misrepresented himself as a Christian too. He makes me sick, I am so glad for the whole thing to be over. Whew, that was long winded. I STILL have more to add, but I'll put it on another post. I am starting to go cross eyed fromj writing so much when I am tired. Love you all! Lisa
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Post by Panther on Sept 2, 2003 0:15:17 GMT -5
Ben Yes, you are right about the forgivenss part. I hope someday Dan would at least apologize, but I don't think a person can apologize for who they truly are, know what I mean? To him, he obviously thinks his actions are ok. Actually, I hope I never talk to him again really.
God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.
I love this prayer. It helps a lot. I think all this with Dan is way too fresh for me to forgive. I think the best I will be able to do is pray for him. I guess I need to pray about forgiveness. You are right though. God wants us to forgive. I used to have a problem with forgiveness and boundaries. I had to learn over the years that just b/c I forgive someone doesn't mean I let them step on me anymore or let them cross my boundaries again.
Have to go to bed,, eyes are shutting down!!
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Post by Alison on Sept 2, 2003 12:33:32 GMT -5
Lisa I'm SO HAPPY for you. I' glad that things are finially looking up for you. See God does work wonders. It was probley meant for you to stay with Wayne. So I pray that your devorce is quick so you can get back with Wayne.
Please keep us posted about everything.
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Post by Panther on Sept 2, 2003 23:36:44 GMT -5
Lisa I'm SO HAPPY for you. I' glad that things are finially looking up for you. See God does work wonders. It was probley meant for you to stay with Wayne. So I pray that your devorce is quick so you can get back with Wayne. Please keep us posted about everything. Thanks! Yeah, since he was served, he has 20 days to respond. No response, instant divorce. I don't think he will respond either, after all I NEVER heard from him, not even once! Wayne happened to see him today at the bank when he was driving past. He was driving a company vehicle so apparently he got a REAL job, lol! Guess since he is on his own he decided he no longer had the luxury of "weighing out his options". Hee hee. Wayne wanted to stop and give him a piece of his mind, but he decided not too and I am proud of him. We don't need any more trouble right now. As much as I'd like to see something happen to Dan (see how mad I am) I keep praying and keep putting it in God's hands. Wayne has been saying the same kinds of prayers too.
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Post by flukehouse on Sept 2, 2003 23:43:59 GMT -5
Breath Lisa Breath....
It will be over soon! Still praying for you sis. Love, Kelly
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Post by Panther on Sept 3, 2003 14:39:33 GMT -5
Breath Lisa Breath.... It will be over soon! Still praying for you sis. Love, Kelly Thanks! (taking deep breath and remembering to let it out) I sure appreciate the prayers! God has been good to me. I have been so happy since I moved (expect for all the unpacking , hee hee) I'll keep you updated, as I am sure there will be more!
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Post by billbo1970 on Sept 3, 2003 15:29:39 GMT -5
Wow, I never looked at this thread until today. Wish I'd seen it sooner. I don't even know what to say Lisa, I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I've only read your first two posts, so I won't ask any questions in this message.
This man is scum, and I'm sorry you fell for his act.
Father in heaven, I lift up Lisa, this situation, her ex-husband, and her child. I pray you would work in their lives to repair all the damage that has been done through the years, and that this situation would somehow bring glory to You Father. Only you can take what was intended for evil and use it for good.
I pray that you would bring healing to this family Lord. I pray that Lisa & her ex-husband would both turn their faces toward you & that you would repair their relationship as you see fit to. Heal the old wounds, and annoint them with your Holy Spirit Lord Jesus. Renew their relationship with one another & restore the love in the relationship. Teach them about mature love & how to show it for each other Lord Jesus. Allow them to be a great mother & father to their child & heal their child from what she had to witness that day. I pray all this in the name of Jesus, with faith that you will answer, for it is your will we ask for. Amen.
PIC, Bill[/color]
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Post by Panther on Sept 4, 2003 11:52:58 GMT -5
Wow, I never looked at this thread until today. Wish I'd seen it sooner. I don't even know what to say Lisa, I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I've only read your first two posts, so I won't ask any questions in this message.
This man is scum, and I'm sorry you fell for his act.
Father in heaven, I lift up Lisa, this situation, her ex-husband, and her child. I pray you would work in their lives to repair all the damage that has been done through the years, and that this situation would somehow bring glory to You Father. Only you can take what was intended for evil and use it for good.
I pray that you would bring healing to this family Lord. I pray that Lisa & her ex-husband would both turn their faces toward you & that you would repair their relationship as you see fit to. Heal the old wounds, and annoint them with your Holy Spirit Lord Jesus. Renew their relationship with one another & restore the love in the relationship. Teach them about mature love & how to show it for each other Lord Jesus. Allow them to be a great mother & father to their child & heal their child from what she had to witness that day. I pray all this in the name of Jesus, with faith that you will answer, for it is your will we ask for. Amen.
PIC, Bill [/color][/quote] Thanks Bill, that was soooo sweet and an awesome prayer! Wayne and I feel strongly that God brought us back together. Every day that goes by, more healing goes on in this family. It is a beautiful thing. We have forgiven each other and are moving on to a beautiful life together. Our child is so happy, you should see her little face glowing! Everything feels so right, feels like we were never apart. I have been a little cranky here and there on this board lately, it really is out of character for me. It's just I am sooo busy that I have literally no time.....but it will all be over soon. Blessings Lisa
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Post by col311 on Sept 4, 2003 21:05:24 GMT -5
I'll be praying for you.
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Post by Panther on Sept 5, 2003 6:54:33 GMT -5
Thanks! It's nice to see you on this thread, brother! God Bless Lisa
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Post by Alison on Sept 5, 2003 13:06:29 GMT -5
Lisa, sorry I haven't posted lately but I'm sure glad that everything seems to still be going good for you all. And you are still in my prayers and been thinking about you.
Hopefully over the weekend I'll get out an email to you. Been sick since Tuesday evening and haven't been on the boards all that much. This weekend I'm plainning on just taking it easy and relazing, which also includes being on the computor. I don't know about everyone elase but I find it relaxing being on the boards just to talk.
So keep your chin up and the postive thinking going, ok?
In christain love
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Post by Panther on Sept 6, 2003 9:59:15 GMT -5
Lisa, sorry I haven't posted lately but I'm sure glad that everything seems to still be going good for you all. And you are still in my prayers and been thinking about you. Hopefully over the weekend I'll get out an email to you. Been sick since Tuesday evening and haven't been on the boards all that much. This weekend I'm plainning on just taking it easy and relazing, which also includes being on the computor. I don't know about everyone elase but I find it relaxing being on the boards just to talk. So keep your chin up and the postive thinking going, ok? In christain love Hi! Sorry to hear you've been under the weather. Hope you have a wonderful, relaxing weekend. Blessings Lisa
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Post by Panther on Sept 6, 2003 10:21:04 GMT -5
Ok everyone. Here is an update.
In disbelief, I read this handwritten letter from my current husband, Dan, the one I served with divorce papers. I went to my old place yesterday to feed the fish (we are moving the last bit of stuff today, not much left) and I found this in the mailbox.
I need to add before you all read this- Florida is NOT a community property state, nor is there common law. We were only "married" for a month.
Lisa I agree with the divorce. There are two ways to approach it with me, Just 2!
Easy Way: I want all my personal items back. Cat, furniture, necklace, motorcycle, title, attic storage stuff, 2 grinders and 2 art boxes. At that point you will be rid of me forever.
Hard Way: After consultation with an atttorney yesterday, I can and will do the following. No prenuptial was ever signed. You own half of my property and DEBTS and I own half of yours. Everything gets thrown in the community pot and the judge WILL split it. Everything! Your company stocks, insurance monies, all household goods including big screen tv and computer and ALL vehicles. My attorney has stated we can subpoena all corporate records, checking accouts, business and private.
I am not leaving this state. You want a battle- I will oblige. Married one month or 10 years makes no difference to the court.
If you decide the easy route, call my work by Tuesday and leave a message for me to call you. It can be civil on the phone If you can't be civil, option 2 is the way we will go!
My things are returned to me before I will give you the divorce. I want you and wayne to be able to start over with a clean slate and spend the next 14 years together.
No signature was put on the letter.
NOW, first of all, the motorcycle is MINE. I bought it cash over a year ago, way before this marriage. The title is in my name only. I can't believe he wants to take my bike. I don't think so!
As far as the other property, I will give him his stupid furniture which consists of a chest of drawers and one night stand. In the attic is a bunch of junk of his, porn mags (which I threw out already), old ski's, etc.
Now, I have no problem giving him his junk, but I will not give him my motorcycle! I worked hard to buy it cash and he cannot have it!
Secondly, all the things he mentioned in option 2 are mine and have been mine WAY before the marriage. The big screen tv, computer, my coporate stocks in the company I own with my husband. How dare he even try to touch this stuff! There is one vehicle, my 2003 Ford Mustang, which I pay for monthly, it was bought before the marriage and it is titled in my name only. How dare he want my car too!
The only thing he brought into the marriage were the items he wants returned (minus the bike), a old 1982 Buick Century, his clothes and that's it! I should have known he was after me for my stuff, it is SO apparent now~
He has a snowball's chance in hell to touch any of my things. Besides that, Florida is NOT a community state. Any attorney that would want to go there after a month long marriage is crazy. Also, Dan has NO money and I know he doesn't have $2500 to come up with as a retainer to even get started on this stuff.
I only have to wait until the 15th of Septemeber and if he doesn't contest with an attorney, I can get divorced. When I served him, he had 20 days to repond or the divorce is automatic.
Like I said before, I have moved out of that rental I was in. I live with my ex in our old home we had before our divorce. I am waiting for THIS divorce to go through so we can remarry and get on with our lives. Dan would have to prove what household items I even HAD in the rental since I no longer even live there.
Just for precaution because I am paranoid, I am signing my bike over to wayne on Monday. I am taking the money out of my checking account and putting it in Wayne's. We were supposed to join checking accounts this coming week, but now I am going to wait to put my name on it. I am also going to sign the company stock that I own back to Wayne. He owns the other stock anyway, it is our company. I really don't have to do all this, but just in case.....
Can you guys believe this? Over a month long marriage- what a greedy, pompous jerk! No swearing on the board but I am thinking it.
Please respond, I would love to hear your comments. Lisa
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Post by Alison on Sept 6, 2003 12:56:29 GMT -5
Lisa, I two have a few chose words I would like to say but those words are not allow on the site, so I will say that I feel you did the right thing about the accounts and all. He may try to make trouble for you but we all know you will win out in the end. So hang in there.
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