Post by Archangelwolf on Jan 30, 2004 3:45:38 GMT -5
We all have our stories that make up who we are. Then, when our stories collide with God's story, we really get rolling.
So, this is my 2-part story leading up to when it finally merges with God's story:
Part 1:
I was born and raised in a moderately large city in northwestern Texas. My parents were members of a Baptist congregation. I was baptized in 1984, while in the third grade. However, I had doubts and issues with Christianity and organized religion all throughout adolescence and early adulthood, mainly because of my parents double lives as professed Christians.
My parents were what is commonly called "Sunday Christians." My father would lead the congregation in worship on Sunday, and then talk about rated-R movies, naked women, and sex around me, my sister, and my brother throughout the week. My mother, who was later diagnosed with manic depressive and bi-polar disorder, would do atrocious things in fits of rage. I remember my mother, after playing the piano for worship on Sunday, cursing my father, herself, and God; and even daring God to strike her down. My mother's apparent sickness drove her to attempt to suffocate me when I was 10, beat my sister with a broom handle, and pour a warm pot of chili on my little brother at the dinner table. (This is just the tip of the iceberg.)
Over the years, because of my parents double life, a lot of resentment swelled up in me for the memories that I felt a child should not have. A few years ago, after venting some of these resentments in certain terms, my mother decided she needed to apologize to my sister, my brother, and I for the memories she bestowed upon our childhoods. I have since forgiven my mother.
However, I now am trying to forgive myself; because I remember my mother doing these things to my sister and brother, and I just watched. I did not try to interfere and possibly protect them from her madness. One of my deepest regrets is that I was not a more protective "big brother."
Amazingly, my faith in Jesus Christ has remained intact in spite of this. It helped me to outgrow the ideas that we, as children, somehow deserved for these things to happen. Although there were some murky years of doubt, I held fast to the grace that is given to me by Jesus blood on the cross. In researching other religions and cults, Christianity is the only belief system where God LOVES me so much that He would allow Himself to be clothed in ungodly human flesh and be executed by us so that we now have access to Him.
Praise God!
Part 2:
Our stories sometimes have more than one angle. This is a follow-up to my original story, because this is also a significant part of who I am.
Growing up, I revered my grandfather; my father's father. To me, he was "John Wayne," or "Jock Ewing." He was the patron of the family, and I wanted to grow up and be like him. He was a police officer for about 30 years, and retired with the rank of Captain.
Then, in the late 1980's, my grandparents were divorced. All of a sudden, the truth came out. My grandfather had been unfaithful to my grandmother with numerous affairs over their 32 years of marriage. Also, my grandfather apparently lived a double life; one of faithful, churchgoing husband and father, and one of a careless philanderer who just wanted to live life to the fullest; regardless of what that cost.
My role model had been crushed. The tough patriarch was replaced with a man that did not care about his family. To this day, he rarely makes time to spend with his sons and grandchildren. After retiring from law enforcement, he now drives an 18-wheeler all over the country. He has had bouts with cancer at least twice; and the doctor says he needs to take it easy, but he will not listen. He wants to live life to the fullest; even if it alienates his family, and kills him. The legacy of my grandfather is now a great big joke, and a very disappointing one at that.
This only leads me to say that we have another Father. God is there to be our caring Father for which we will never be disappointed. He will live up to the pedestals and then some. God will nurture us as to what we need, and allows us to combine our stories to His.
I only hope that you long to crash your story into the story of God.
May the love of God, the grace of Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you always!
Arch.
So, this is my 2-part story leading up to when it finally merges with God's story:
Part 1:
I was born and raised in a moderately large city in northwestern Texas. My parents were members of a Baptist congregation. I was baptized in 1984, while in the third grade. However, I had doubts and issues with Christianity and organized religion all throughout adolescence and early adulthood, mainly because of my parents double lives as professed Christians.
My parents were what is commonly called "Sunday Christians." My father would lead the congregation in worship on Sunday, and then talk about rated-R movies, naked women, and sex around me, my sister, and my brother throughout the week. My mother, who was later diagnosed with manic depressive and bi-polar disorder, would do atrocious things in fits of rage. I remember my mother, after playing the piano for worship on Sunday, cursing my father, herself, and God; and even daring God to strike her down. My mother's apparent sickness drove her to attempt to suffocate me when I was 10, beat my sister with a broom handle, and pour a warm pot of chili on my little brother at the dinner table. (This is just the tip of the iceberg.)
Over the years, because of my parents double life, a lot of resentment swelled up in me for the memories that I felt a child should not have. A few years ago, after venting some of these resentments in certain terms, my mother decided she needed to apologize to my sister, my brother, and I for the memories she bestowed upon our childhoods. I have since forgiven my mother.
However, I now am trying to forgive myself; because I remember my mother doing these things to my sister and brother, and I just watched. I did not try to interfere and possibly protect them from her madness. One of my deepest regrets is that I was not a more protective "big brother."
Amazingly, my faith in Jesus Christ has remained intact in spite of this. It helped me to outgrow the ideas that we, as children, somehow deserved for these things to happen. Although there were some murky years of doubt, I held fast to the grace that is given to me by Jesus blood on the cross. In researching other religions and cults, Christianity is the only belief system where God LOVES me so much that He would allow Himself to be clothed in ungodly human flesh and be executed by us so that we now have access to Him.
Praise God!
Part 2:
Our stories sometimes have more than one angle. This is a follow-up to my original story, because this is also a significant part of who I am.
Growing up, I revered my grandfather; my father's father. To me, he was "John Wayne," or "Jock Ewing." He was the patron of the family, and I wanted to grow up and be like him. He was a police officer for about 30 years, and retired with the rank of Captain.
Then, in the late 1980's, my grandparents were divorced. All of a sudden, the truth came out. My grandfather had been unfaithful to my grandmother with numerous affairs over their 32 years of marriage. Also, my grandfather apparently lived a double life; one of faithful, churchgoing husband and father, and one of a careless philanderer who just wanted to live life to the fullest; regardless of what that cost.
My role model had been crushed. The tough patriarch was replaced with a man that did not care about his family. To this day, he rarely makes time to spend with his sons and grandchildren. After retiring from law enforcement, he now drives an 18-wheeler all over the country. He has had bouts with cancer at least twice; and the doctor says he needs to take it easy, but he will not listen. He wants to live life to the fullest; even if it alienates his family, and kills him. The legacy of my grandfather is now a great big joke, and a very disappointing one at that.
This only leads me to say that we have another Father. God is there to be our caring Father for which we will never be disappointed. He will live up to the pedestals and then some. God will nurture us as to what we need, and allows us to combine our stories to His.
I only hope that you long to crash your story into the story of God.
May the love of God, the grace of Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you always!
Arch.