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Post by PhilipDC78 on Aug 1, 2003 15:27:51 GMT -5
I think it is my turn to put up a controversial post...
I believe that people in the United States look at divorce in a much too light manner. Divorce should be a last resort, you have tried to make it work, prayed, and tried to make it work again, got councelling, and tried to make it work again, and then if it is still not working, try again.
Divorce is a VERY, VERY serious thing. It is the destruction of a covenant that two people made with each other and with God. It seems to be that Divorce these days is looked at as a viable option. To my mind, divorce is like a nuclear bomb. You know the option is there, but you REALLY, REALLY don't want to use it because it just destroys everything.
It is so sad that there is practically no difference in the divorce rate between professed Christians and between non-Christians (both around 50% now).
There are studies that show that couples who describe their marriage as in trouble, but decided to work on it, 5 years later said that their marriage was stronger, and more fulfilling than it had ever been. People don't want to go through the hard times and grow together, work things out together. Rather, they would just throw it away and start over.
That is a sin, plain and simple. Yes there is one circumstance where Jesus said that divorce was allowable, but in most instances that is not why it happens, even for Christians.
So, what do you all think?
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Post by Metanoia on Aug 1, 2003 15:46:10 GMT -5
Thank you for posting this.
Having been to the brink of divorce myself, your words are on the mark. With one small exception.
You said: It is the destruction of a covenant that two people made with each other and with God.
Actually not only does God enters into the covenant but He is the one who joins both husband and wife so that they become one. As the Bible says: What God has joined, no man can separate. The bond of matrimony is unbreakable.
Unfortuantely the Christian community no longer believes this to be valid. They continually search the Bible for loopholes and justifications for divorce. Since this is not longer taught in churches, few people give it much thought. Instead we try to put people at ease about their divorces. We no longer can claim the moral high ground on this issue. We have give ourselves over to the culture and the world.
As with just about everything I have posted this week, we as Christians have failed miserably. Be it birth control, divorce, abortion, gay marriage we have failed to have an impact on our culture. Instead it has impacted our Christianity.
I guess we will continue to pat ourselves on the back and congratualte ourselves on how great our faith is, but in reality we only believe what we want to believe, only what is convienent.
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Post by BlindFaith on Aug 1, 2003 16:48:00 GMT -5
Ok, controversial this is!
Where do I begin, we are to stay married above all else, we are to honor that committment to Christ and to our spouse! But the bible gives one exception and that is adultery! Then someone (the cheating spouse has already broken the commitment). Then and only then do I think that it is ok to get divorced! I think that marriage and divorce is put very lighthearted nowadays by both Christians and non-christians, and remember what the bible tells us about another issue in dealing with this, if you divorce ( for reasons other than adultery) and remarry you are commiting adultery! (can't remember the verse right at the moment, will post it when I think of it)
where does the bible day not to use BIRTH CONTROL?
(If i didn't use birth control would probably have 5 kids now! Even if God managed to triple our salary it wouldn't be enough!)
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Post by DevilDisturber on Aug 1, 2003 17:36:27 GMT -5
You are right on the line with the Blood of Jesus that cleanses us! I have been there and done that and had to ask God to forgive me. He did and now I spend a great deal of time counciling with those who are seperated and about to get a divorce! Some think that they can end their problems not realizing that they will take the problem to a higher level and a worse condition. Especially those with children that have to go through the trama of half a parent or two sets of parents. When the Children are Christians their little minds are bent toward thinking what did I do to cause mom and dad to get a divorce? I know that it is a curse pkmtyolped on from one generation to another and I want to break the curse of families that have gone through this ungodly act as I did. I know God has forgiven me and will forgive anyone in fact He already forgave us all our sin yet that does not excuse the damage that this has done to our Christian Body and the fellowship of Believers today. I call this the Sodom and Gamoria syndrome, or if it feels good do it thats all right with God! I Pray that God will continue to guide me to all who are even thinking about divorce and allow me the priviledge to help them to heal their marriage. Until the Shout with all the love of Jesus Brother Dean.TEXT
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Post by layer3maniac on Aug 1, 2003 18:43:29 GMT -5
PhilipDC78: So, what do you all think? layer: You won't find any controversy from me, Phillip. I agree 100%. Does that make you want to rethink your position? ;D
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Post by Flipper on Aug 1, 2003 20:40:39 GMT -5
Ok, controversial this is! Where do I begin, we are to stay married above all else, we are to honor that committment to Christ and to our spouse! But the bible gives one exception and that is adultery! Then someone (the cheating spouse has already broken the commitment). Then and only then do I think that it is ok to get divorced! I think that marriage and divorce is put very lighthearted nowadays by both Christians and non-christians, and remember what the bible tells us about another issue in dealing with this, if you divorce ( for reasons other than adultery) and remarry you are commiting adultery! (can't remember the verse right at the moment, will post it when I think of it)
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Post by DevilDisturber on Aug 2, 2003 17:03:58 GMT -5
To all the thread when you put anything ahead of god and that becomes your god regardless if it is family, work, Church, wife, children, that is Spiritual Adultry! "God is a jealous God and some do not understand this Holy Jealousy that is God's alone!" W. A. Criswell Dr. Amos Criswell was a giant among ministers and a very dear precious friend who has beat me to Heaven! There are so many times I would love to ask Him questions because He was a Greek and Hebrew scholar! Yes there are many types of adultry Flipper but the worse is Spiritual. Can you receive this statement? Born again baptised enemies of God! Also how about church members born of other gods! Until the Shout Brother DeanTEXT
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Post by michaeldark on Aug 2, 2003 17:24:47 GMT -5
I think it is my turn to put up a controversial post... I believe that people in the United States look at divorce in a much too light manner. Divorce should be a last resort, you have tried to make it work, prayed, and tried to make it work again, got councelling, and tried to make it work again, and then if it is still not working, try again. Divorce is a VERY, VERY serious thing. It is the destruction of a covenant that two people made with each other and with God. It seems to be that Divorce these days is looked at as a viable option. To my mind, divorce is like a nuclear bomb. You know the option is there, but you REALLY, REALLY don't want to use it because it just destroys everything. It is so sad that there is practically no difference in the divorce rate between professed Christians and between non-Christians (both around 50% now). There are studies that show that couples who describe their marriage as in trouble, but decided to work on it, 5 years later said that their marriage was stronger, and more fulfilling than it had ever been. People don't want to go through the hard times and grow together, work things out together. Rather, they would just throw it away and start over. That is a sin, plain and simple. Yes there is one circumstance where Jesus said that divorce was allowable, but in most instances that is not why it happens, even for Christians. So, what do you all think? I agree. I think that it is a last resort,and even then I'd be iffy. It's a horrible thing,it's not only the destruction of a covenant,but more than often of a family. I'd be really cautious considering it. I'm not sure how I feel about remarriage though,I mean if the previous marriage desolved and you fall in love again,I don't know why it would be a sin. Jesus is all about love,and yet it seems like he,or at least the churches that claim to be of him,shun love.
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Post by MidnightBirdGirl on Aug 2, 2003 17:27:47 GMT -5
I find divorce compleately against God, makes me ill. My husband was married before, and his exwife did not take their vows to mean much at all. She started having affairs just months after they were married. He tried for a few years but she would not stop her behaviour. They had one child together and I can tell you from what I have been through as a second wife, this was not in God's plan. She is remarried and this marriage means just as little to her. My husband left after she started abusing their child, he didn't want a divorce but felt there was no choice. My parents after 45 years of marraige are planning a divorce now. So, sad. It affects so many. Then there are the annulments and that disturbs me even more. My husband's ex was granted one, he had no say. Anyway... it is like people live in some sort of serial monogomy. Just plain wrong!
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Post by luvmyGod on Aug 2, 2003 21:08:00 GMT -5
Ok, controversial this is! Where do I begin, we are to stay married above all else, we are to honor that committment to Christ and to our spouse! But the bible gives one exception and that is adultery! Then someone (the cheating spouse has already broken the commitment). Then and only then do I think that it is ok to get divorced! I think that marriage and divorce is put very lighthearted nowadays by both Christians and non-christians, and remember what the bible tells us about another issue in dealing with this, if you divorce ( for reasons other than adultery) and remarry you are commiting adultery! (can't remember the verse right at the moment, will post it when I think of it) Wow, I have never thought of it that way. This is an interesting point. We know that the first commandment is to love the Lord with all your might, heart and soul. Thou shalt not have any other Gods' before me. Anything before me is something that is of more importance than God ie work, wife,husband, children, money, jewels and much more. Now if the husband is to love the wife more than himself and the wife love her husband after the Lord then I say you have a very strong point. I would like to pray and think on this for some time. Thank you for bringing this up.
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Post by PhilipDC78 on Aug 3, 2003 0:34:48 GMT -5
Sometimes I think adultry covers more than just cheating on your spouse with another person. If the person loves something else more than his or her wife (with the exception of God of course), to me, that is the same as adultry. Examples of "something else" can be: the bottle, pornography, their job, drugs, hobbies, etc. So does that mean you think that divorce is a viable option of the person is an alcoholic? If the person is addicted to pornography? If the person is a workaholic? If the person is abusing drugs? If the person is too into their hobbies? The answer should be an emphatic NO to all those. The spouse should work to get that person to see their problem and change it, but they are still married to them, still united under God, and they have no authority to break that marriage covenant. If they do seperate over these issues, and even divorce, it will still be adultery to marry someone else.
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Post by PhilipDC78 on Aug 3, 2003 0:36:22 GMT -5
PhilipDC78: So, what do you all think? layer: You won't find any controversy from me, Philip. I agree 100%. Does that make you want to rethink your position? ;D Wow, just goes to show you that even if brothers in Christ disagree over certain theological points, they can still agree on others. God bless. Side note... I changed your quote a bit.. put one "L" in my name... it is a pet peeve of mine when people do not spell my name correctly, even when it is right there in front of them.
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Post by Kee on Aug 6, 2003 23:37:48 GMT -5
The spouse should work to get that person to see their problem and change it, The partner may not want to change, and you cannot make them do it. You can offer the wisdom and the opportunity, but you must be prepared to see what they will choose.
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Post by michaeldark on Aug 6, 2003 23:41:40 GMT -5
The partner may not want to change, and you cannot make them do it. You can offer the wisdom and the opportunity, but you must be prepared to see what they will choose. *Nods*And if they choose that path,I myself am afraid I'd have to gfo against the bible and advocate,for the safety of you,your childern,and your faith,you take the kids and dipkmtyolsociate yourself with that relationship as much as possible,by any means possible.
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Post by CMAC on Aug 7, 2003 1:10:34 GMT -5
What about physical cruelty? How can a couple stay together as husband and wife when one beats the whatever out of the other?
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