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Post by Flipper on Sept 2, 2003 8:07:39 GMT -5
One of my husband's techs has been getting threatened by her ex-boyfriend for some time, he has even moved into an apartment above her to keep an eye on her. After much prodding from my husband and co-workers, she is finally getting a restraining order against him today. Please pray that she goes through with it. He's done some really mean things to her.
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Post by flukehouse on Sept 2, 2003 8:21:22 GMT -5
Praying...
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Post by kenosis on Sept 2, 2003 8:47:43 GMT -5
I will keep this in my prayers today. If she does not do something - it wwill get worse - it never gets better. From the voice of experience. Not just because I went through it - but once finally out and away - I worked in a Domestic Violence shelter and I know what I am talking about. THE ONLY WAY this will change is if God intervenes.
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Post by Panther on Sept 2, 2003 10:06:54 GMT -5
One of my husband's techs has been getting threatened by her ex-boyfriend for some time, he has even moved into an apartment above her to keep an eye on her. After much prodding from my husband and co-workers, she is finally getting a restraining order against him today. Please pray that she goes through with it. He's done some really mean things to her. Yes, placing a restraining order isn't a hard thing. All she has to do is fill out some paperwork at the court house and it should be approved the same/next day. He won't be allowed within 500 feet of her. If he violates this by contacting her or even contacting her through others, all she has to do is report it and he will be arrested. She will have a court date within 3 weeks over the matter and at the time the judge will decide to keep the order permanent or not. Yes, this will give her SUCH peace of mind. I will pray that she has the strength to go through with it. Blessings Flipper! Lisa
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Post by CMAC on Sept 2, 2003 10:42:19 GMT -5
Yes, placing a restraining order isn't a hard thing. All she has to do is fill out some paperwork at the court house and it should be approved the same/next day. He won't be allowed within 500 feet of her. If he violates this by contacting her or even contacting her through others, all she has to do is report it and he will be arrested. She will have a court date within 3 weeks over the matter and at the time the judge will decide to keep the order permanent or not. Yes, this will give her SUCH peace of mind. I will pray that she has the strength to go through with it. Blessings Flipper! Lisa A retraining order is just a piece of paper. They can help, but If you think it will protect you from someone who is fixated and intent his/her agenda of hapkmtyolrment or assault, you should think again.
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Post by Panther on Sept 2, 2003 11:02:24 GMT -5
A retraining order is just a piece of paper. They can help, but If you think it will protect you from someone who is fixated and intent his/her agenda of hapkmtyolrment or assault, you should think again. I understand what you are saying, but I think it may vary from state to state. I realize that if someone wants to do something to someone else bad enough, of course they will, paper or no paper. Here in FL though, it really it taken very seriously. If it is violated, the person is arrested immediately with no bond. A restraining order for someone that needs one is better than just doing nothing though. Know what I mean? At least there is legal recourse already set up whereas if she does nothing, it will harder.
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Post by CMAC on Sept 2, 2003 22:08:39 GMT -5
I understand what you are saying, but I think it may vary from state to state. I realize that if someone wants to do something to someone else bad enough, of course they will, paper or no paper. Here in FL though, it really it taken very seriously. If it is violated, the person is arrested immediately with no bond. A restraining order for someone that needs one is better than just doing nothing though. Know what I mean? At least there is legal recourse already set up whereas if she does nothing, it will harder. They are taken seriously everywhere. The problem is when the offender does not take them seriously. If the police take seven minutes to arrive, assuming you can get to a phone, well, assume a worst case scenario...
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Post by Flipper on Sept 2, 2003 22:17:54 GMT -5
They are taken seriously everywhere. The problem is when the offender does not take them seriously. If the police take seven minutes to arrive, assuming you can get to a phone, well, assume a worst case scenario... Yes, but she has to do something. She can't afford to move out. This is a start. Update - she got one, but he's apparently moving and not sure if the sheriff's office will be able to serve him. He stays with friends and doesn't sign leases. I have a process server friend (former employer) who may be able to help, but even just paying his overhead to locate the guy, it's going to be expensive.
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Post by Panther on Sept 2, 2003 23:26:50 GMT -5
I assume she doesn't know where he works or she could serve him there. I totally agree that this is a start and I am glad she did it! Good for her! Just the process of filling our paperwork is the start of her taking control of her life and not letting him bully her. Big bully! Hoepfully he is found so he can be served. blessings Lisa
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Post by AuntRonda on Sept 3, 2003 5:21:49 GMT -5
Not sure about you location, but I would reccomend she up it to an Order of Protection. Those have more "teeth" to them.
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Post by Flipper on Sept 3, 2003 7:47:10 GMT -5
Actually, here, it is called an Adult Abuse Order. It's a restraining order and order of protection all in one - it's geared to be easy to get, at least preliminarily. It's first granted for 10 days, then there is a hearing that he can attend if he wants to defend himself. Then it can be extended to 30 days, then after that they go back to court and then it is 6 month increments. It's not going to mean anything if she can't get him served, though.
Whenever she would try to live her life on her own, he would threaten to tell "work" about all the "controlled substances" she was "stealing" and would say this in front of the right person so it would get back to work. Of course it would get reported and even though they knew it wasn't true, they would be obligated to call loss prevention and do an inventory. They got tired of doing this again and again and pulled her aside and told her that they would fire her if he interferes with her job again. That's the only thing that convinced her to get a restraining order. Still, I talked to her last night and she even said then, that whenever he "gets that way" he apologizes the next day and that she is only doing this to keep her job. My husband is afraid for her safety. She has a 9 year old son from a previous marriage - but I don't think the guy has done anythng to her son.
I just pray she gets him served, then knows to call the police if he sees him.
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Post by Flipper on Sept 3, 2003 7:48:07 GMT -5
I assume she doesn't know where he works or she could serve him there.
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Post by Panther on Sept 3, 2003 8:13:47 GMT -5
I assume she doesn't know where he works or she could serve him there. I want to laugh with you, but I don't get it? Please splain.
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Post by Flipper on Sept 3, 2003 12:31:49 GMT -5
I want to laugh with you, but I don't get it? Please splain. He doesn't work.
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Post by Panther on Sept 3, 2003 14:37:05 GMT -5
OH! *smacks forehead* Actually I suspected this, but I didn't think I read that in the posts? Anway, hopefully he gets a job then so he will be to busy to bother your friend! Blessings Lisa
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